This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
