Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize