I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
