Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
