Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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