my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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