now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
