Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
