oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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