yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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