How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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