I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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