Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
