Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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