But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
