he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
