I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize