so explain again why im purple
no
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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