I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
