did you get engaged???
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
