I want to walk on stilts...naked
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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