Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We are two peas in an std pod
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
