The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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