# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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