Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
