go do what you do best...puke behind churches
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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