u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Text me some of your sweat
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
