she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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