I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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