When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
