I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
