What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
