It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
