I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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