I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
