He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
