I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i think my cat just said my name.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
