While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
