I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My cat gives me a boner
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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