He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
