Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
