She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oh god it's open bar.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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