Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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