wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
