i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
