can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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