I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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