i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
