# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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