You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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