so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
