he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
