She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
