well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
