the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
