dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How naked do you want me to be?
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