jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
