Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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