I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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