If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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